am i a writer — TAKE MY ADVICE!

Do As I Say, Not As I Do is an advice column designed to help you navigate any situation in life that you’re dealing with, and hopefully help others who find themselves in a similar situation. All advice is purely opinion based on my experience, and I am in no capacity a trained professional. If you’re struggling with your mental health, please seek out professional help, and reach out to Samaritans in the UK, or NAMI in the US. To ask me a question, fill out the form here.

After years of being lost, I settled on studying public relations. I like the field but my real passion has always been magazines. This passion has evolved to online lifestyle/women's media.

I often look at writers like you and wish I could do the same. It would be amazing to write for a living but it scares me. What if people hate what I write? What if I struggle with writing on a regular basis? What if I'm just not good enough?

I wish I could enjoy it, but even the thought of writing makes me nervous. I think I chose PR because it was a safe choice. I know journalism is a troubled field but there's a part of me that still yearns to be published. How do I get over this nervousness? How can I improve my writing? Do you have any career insight for me?

-Wannabe Writer

Dear Wannabe Writer,

I’m going to start off with a very trite truism that is good to think about: you are already a writer. You wrote this question, didn’t you? And even if you hadn’t, just the desire to write makes you a writer. Not everyone has it! You do. Every good PR person has to be able to write well, anyway. What you do (or are going to do, if you’re still a student) is a lot harder than what I do — you have to write so damn well that you convince people to do you favours, to buy into products and services they’ve never had a use for before. So, in the first place, be proud of yourself, even if this is not where you imagined you’d be at this stage of your life.

Wannabe Writer, I laughed when I read your question because here’s the secret: I have all the same fears and doubts you do. I ask myself all the same questions damn near every day of my life, and I have yet to meet a writer who doesn’t. Don’t idealise me, because most of the time I am convinced that I can’t write to save my life, that I have never done, and will never do, anything of value in this world. Not that it’s a fair comparison, but Sophie Kinsella has the same fears. Maya Angelou. Shakespeare. Honestly, Anna Wintour probably wonders how she got to where she is every time she steps through the doors of One World Trade Center.

Writing can be incredibly rewarding, but there are two big obstacles that stand in every writer’s way: fear and work. Fear is very easy and not doing the work is very easy. So if you have the impulse to write, you have no choice but to do it. Start right now. Write down last night’s dream. Nonsense words. An album review. A cherished memory. A seething indictment of cow’s milk, or Sharpies, or Ellen. You can either write or not write, so push aside the fear, be prepared to put in the work, and do it. Important: it doesn’t matter if what you write is bad. All that matters is that you do it. Seriously. More on that here.

Part of what’s blocking you right now is that you’re thinking too big, and looking too far ahead. You don’t have to write for a living. You can write one article a year, or a page in your journal. You have to start somewhere! Then as you explore your writing and better understand what you’re trying to say, you can scale up and eventually write for a living. If writing is your passion, you can’t think of it as a job first. You have to think about what you’re trying to express, what motivates you.

Journalism may be a troubled field, but if it’s what you want to do, you can’t let that stop you. It’s reinventing itself, but it’s not dying. If you want a full-time job, you’re going to need writing samples to apply with in the first place, so again, don’t think too far ahead career-wise either. Step by step. Your other option is to freelance, which you can do on the side while in your current or future job or do full-time once you build up the confidence to do so. I have to warn you, though: pitching editors is never not the most terrifying thing in the world. I get rejected on a quasi-daily basis and I’m still not used to it, but you can’t get published if you don’t try. You have to try. You owe it to yourself. Here’s a great TED talk on that.

On a more practical note, many freelancers, including myself, take on copywriting work for brands in order to make a living. It’s less creative, but it pays better and is less high stakes in terms of putting yourself out there. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions about what copywriting entails and how to get work.

How people are going to receive your writing is a big fear to get past, but it also shouldn’t be your priority. In On Writing, which you should read, Stephen King says, “write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open” — i.e. write what you need to write first, then think about whether your readers will be able to connect with it. You asked me what happens if people hate what you write. That’s the wrong question! Write something. Do you like it? That’s all that matters right now. You can worry about what others think later. If you get published, don’t read the Facebook comments. Ask your best friend what she thinks instead. And remember that all things worth doing will attract criticism one way or another.

What if you struggle with writing on a regular basis? All writers do, but isn’t it better to write something today, then again in a year, than to not write at all because you’re worried about not making it a habit? Again, my advice to you is: do it now. You’re coming up with excuses not to write that don’t hold up to scrutiny. If you start writing and you feel you really need to make it a weekly or daily habit, there are plenty of productivity tools and writing communities (see here and here) to help keep you accountable. But that’s a then problem, not a now problem. Chances are that when you start writing, you’ll naturally want to keep doing it. It’s a muscle like any other; it needs training.

We all think we’re not good enough, but unfortunately that’s not a valid excuse not to do something either. First of all, you probably are. Second of all, if you aren’t, which is subjective anyway, you’ll get better the more you do it. Third, you can take writing classes, you can read more, you can watch YouTube videos on writing, listen to podcasts (I love Write Now With Sarah Werner), read interviews with writers you admire. Nothing is stagnant; if you don’t think you’re good enough now, it doesn’t mean you never will be. But you certainly won’t get better if you don’t sit down and write. So write.

That’s my advice to you. How do you get over this nervousness? You write. How do you improve your writing? You write. Thank you so much for coming to me for answers, but I think you probably know that that was another way of deferring what you really need to do. Because yes, writing is hard, and scary, and a lot of the time it feels like it’s not worth it at all, but have you ever read an article or a book that moved you to tears? That changed your life? That you were so grateful had been written? That’s why we do it. The world needs your voice. Please add it to the chorus.

If you have any more questions or need help with anything and you don’t mind revealing your identity, email me or DM me on Insta. Otherwise, submit another question here if you can bear my ramblings. I’m here and I’m always happy to help. I have some writing to defer, too.

-Iris

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